When first deciding to get married, the wedding takes up a big part of most couple’s thoughts, and then they plan the fantastic event that is the honeymoon. Often they can come down to earth with a bump when real married life begins. But losing that loving feeling need not be inevitable, as couples who have been happily married for 50 years and beyond often show us. Here we look at 6 secrets of happily married couples;
Treat each other with the respect you would give a true friend
When we are angry or sad, it can be the people closest to us that we inflict our moods upon. This is all well and good, however the problem lies where the respect goes out of the window. Always apologise when you have overstepped the mark, and never take each other from granted. Friendship is a large part of a good marriage and this is something to be respected, nurtured and cherished.
Learn to know what is behind the argument
People tend to have an individual style when it comes to arguments. Some people like to talk everything through, others prefer to go silent. Neither is right or wrong, however, life is easier when you realise your spouse is just acting their way and not being personal. Sometimes the way someone reacts can be because of something that has happened in the past, and the best way to deal with it is to not react with anger.
Forgive and really forget
It is always best to clear the air and move on after any disagreement. This means that when you forgive each other, you really should forget too. This means, not harbouring grudges or letting resentment pile up, and no dragging things up in the future. When the air has been cleared, you are then able to move on.
Communicate
While comfortable silences are to be cherished, it is also important to keep communication channels open at all times. There is a way of saying things, and it should always be allowed that a safe space to be there, for each to say how they feel and what is on their mind without reaction or judgement. Really listen to your partner, and hear what they are saying without interruption.
Never Lose Your Sense of Humour
Don’t forget to laugh. The day to day details can drag you down if you’re not careful, but remember that your love for each other is bigger than who last did the washing up, or if a bill has gone unpaid. Laughing together is a big part of intimacy and enjoying married life.
Embrace Your Individuality
It is important that you respect each other’s individual quirks and personalities. Don’t get frustrated at someone who is just being who they are, this will only lead to trouble. Instead, embrace your spouse as an individual and respect their strengths and weaknesses, as everyone has them. These secrets to happily married couples are basically down to mutual understanding and respect.